on the election energies

the beginning is near

This is what I was thinking about today.

All of this media hyperbole about the election reminds me of Y2K.

Remember the rampant fear about the year 2000?  For a full year “they” said all the computers and clocks and auto-anything’s would spontaneously turn off at the strike of midnight, and the world would be destroyed by malfunctioning computers, satellites and cell phones.

And then came Dec 21, 2012, the end of the Mayan calendar and the end of the world.

And, nothing happened.

Nothing happened at all.

Trump feels like that.

 

More thoughts on Scrooge movies.

glinda-the-good-witchIn watching the muppet movie, The Muppet Christmas Carol, though I identified with all of them, I am definitely most like the Ghost of Christmas Present.

The Value of Being Al-one

meditation4

When a relationship ends, there is a huge, empty space where it was. It can feel like a big, black hole. All that love, all that energy was pouring TO someone, and now they aren’t there. But the habit of outpouring still is.

Somehow, you need to turn that loving energy back towards yourself. This is not so easy to do, but it can be done! In fact, it can be the opportunity of a lifetime! Finally, you can have the time and the energy to fall in love with you. In order to do this, you must go inward, for this is where your Self is!

Going inward can feel like a daunting task. Our instinct is to go outward. We want to get away from the pain, our broken hearts, the loss. But of course, that is exactly what we must attend in order to heal ourselves, not abandon ourselves. We must come to our own rescue and love ourselves back to life.

To do this we need to create space for ourselves. Being alone can be powerful and healing. We can take this time of being alone to heal recent wounds, and while we’re at it, past ones, too. By allowing ourselves the time to know ourselves, to even linger there, we begin a process of self-love that will last for the rest of our lives.

In our society today, it can seem completely normal to fill up every single space with something. It is practically a taboo to not be busy. Busy-ness has come to mean worthiness, popularity, and success. I would counter it is simply unavailability. The world will try to convince you that you shouldn’t ever, ever be alone. Like alone is bad. Like alone is failure.

But alone is where your heart is. It is where YOU are. And, alone is where you will begin to really learn to love yourself for who you are — as you are.

By allowing yourself to be alone, you can cultivate a state of spaciousness. This internal posture of spaciousness opens the heart. It makes you available – because you are present. And this presence makes you available to every aspect of life, including new love.

In my book, Opening to Meditation, I offer this idea.

“Most of us don’t know how to be alone. We’re afraid of the dark outside when we’re little, and we’re afraid of the dark inside ourselves when we grow up. We learn to fill up all the dark spaces with TV and newspapers and drugs and busyness and anything else we can think of – anything not to be alone. But if you examine the word alone, you’ll see that it comes from the compound word all-one. There’s a big difference between the words alone and lonely.

This is a powerful notion — that by being with ourselves, really with ourselves, we can gain our greatest insights and understanding. We can begin to truly learn and know ourselves. And, in time, we learn how to love ourselves — our true self — not only the persona that we go out into the world with, but that most real and fundamental part of us.

The ability to be alone is essential to eventually being in a relationship. It is our self-love that attracts a partner that is right for us. Being alone teaches us to accept ourselves, forgive ourselves, and finally to bloom ourselves open to love again.

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION – www.DianaLang.com
Follow Diana Lang on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Diana Lang
To listen to more meditations, follow me on SoundCloud. https://soundcloud.com/diana_lang

Teaching Yourself to “Sit” and “Stay”

reprinted from the Huffington Post

LEARNING TO TRUST YOURSELF THROUGH MEDITATION

COLTRANE on perect sit/stay - taken by Jeremiah McNulty

COLTRANE on perfect sit/stay – taken by Jeremiah McNulty

It’s easy to doubt ourselves, our choices, our lives, our everything. We can find ourselves second-guessing every choice, all along the way. We wonder whether the choices we made in the past were right, and worry about the choices we will make in the future!

We don’t know how to trust ourselves because we don’t know how to trust our inner Self — with a capital S. This inner Self represents a whole new world of awareness. When you begin to listen to your inner Self, the world cracks open with new insights and understandings.

In my book, Opening to Meditation, there is a line that says this: “If there is a devil, it is doubt.” This doubt is a result of overthinking and hyper-analysis. We become embattled with the ego. This can create a constant state of tension. We become restless inside. We can’t relax. We can get depressed, or anxious, over-stimulated and stressed out. And then, we wonder, “Why I can’t sleep at night?”

All the questions of life come up to be reviewed — but in a state of fear and doubt. If we are single we may wonder, “Will he ever come?” And, if we are in a relationship we may ask, “Is he really right for me?” Or similarly, when we can’t get a job, “Will I ever get a job?” or, if we’ve got one, “I bet there is a better one out there.” These are just a couple of examples of thousands that I could offer — but they are all examples of doubt.

And, all of this is just the play of the ego. The ego is a perpetual worrying machine. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The mind will generate fear after fear after fear. When one is allayed, another one pops up. It is the nature of the beast.

But it can be trained. And that is where meditation comes in. Meditation teaches the mind to become still, to live in the moment rather than the past or the future. It teaches us to connect with our higher selves, our true selves, our sacred selves. In this process, the mind learns to become reflective and listening. We become calm and steady. We start to know.

When the mind has no bounds it is like an untrained dog. The mind will chase after every ball that comes by. It will be sitting quietly in one moment, when suddenly, “Squirrel!” and off it goes, running madly after some random thought. And that’s the problem; it chases every… single… thought. An untrained mind doesn’t know how to prioritize well. It is indiscriminate and fearful, or boasting and trying to prove itself. To the untrained mind, every thought is worth chasing.

In theory, we know everything, we think everything — but — all at the same time!But when we meditate, we discover we have a very refined, highly calibrated, inner psychic barometer within us that teaches us subtlety and discrimination, discipline and awareness.

When we meditate, we are teaching our minds to become observers rather than reactors. We teach the mind to “sit” and “stay.” Thoughts of the ego are always fear-based. The ego chases every squirrel, and pretty much every ball that goes by too. So when we teach our minds to sit and stay, to listen and be present, we immediately become calmer and clearer. Suddenly our lives become simpler because we are not over-complicating them with every single thought we think. We simply begin to know.

One of my favorite quotes is, “Don’t believe everything you think.” This is sage advice. Just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true, or that it’s right for you. We can think many things at the same time — and do! When we meditate we are spiritually prioritizing: THIS ball — not all those others.

You can let them all go by,

and stay

with

this

one.

In the end, what it’s really about is application, application, application. Over time we build a muscle of awareness. We learn to be conscious and present about every subject of our lives. We begin to learn to trust ourselves.

From a spiritual perspective there is a perfect time for everything. We can stay busy and distracted by chasing after every squirrel, or we can wait for right timing. Squirrel timing will take you on a wild goose chase. Spiritual timing is perfect timing.

This does not mean being passive and doing nothing. It means responding to what’s at hand because you are present to what is happening. It means living your life with passion and gusto, curiosity and enthusiasm. It means bringing your whole self to every moment and to every exchange. When you establish a meditation practice, you will learn that you can trust life, that you can trust love, and most importantly, you can trust yourself.

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION –www.DianaLang.com

Should I Date More than One Person at a Time?

reprinted from the Huffington Post

  • DATING ADVICE FROM A SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE

dating many men

“Should I date more than one person at a time?” we wonder. “Wouldn’t it open up the field if I dated several people?” Even though there is some merit in this question, at least in the beginning of dating, soon you would discover that the answer is unequivocally, NO.

There is a wise old adage that says: The eagle that chases two rabbits catches none.

The statisticians of the world, of course, would say that this is an odds issue, and the more, the merrier! More chances equal more possibilities of success, right?

Wrong. That’s what the carnies of the world would tell you too, as you attempt for the umpteenth time to throw the ping-pong ball into the fishbowl. It is a scam of the ego.

Still, logic would seem to dictate: the more fishing lines I throw out there, the more fish I could catch.

But, what kind of fish would you catch?

The answer is: The same kind.

This is how energy works!

Like attracts like.

What if you want to find “the One?”

You are not going to catch a mermaid or merman with many lures. You have to evoke them out of this great, grand sea of the world. Yes, there may be many fish in the sea, but you are only looking for one! And, not just any one, but The One.

Just as in looking for a job, sending out a hundred resumes won’t land you a position if you believe there are no jobs out there. A thousand resumes won’t change the outcome of what you already believe. But if you believe there are many jobs out there, and you are a rare talent, you may be surprised to discover that the next time you go to your local café, that you find yourself sitting next to the CEO of the big, new health food store in town, the one that coincidentally happens to be looking for a marketing person . . . and there you are!

When we consciously visualize, and know our partner is coming – he will.
If you truly believe he is not, then you will also be right – he’s not coming.

Multiple-dating is like shooting buckshot. This desperate and random aim scatters, producing many apparent options. But all that this haphazard action does is just take up your time and delay the outcome.

Certainly, by putting ourselves out there, we will probably attract someone, but wouldn’t you rather attract that special someone? Wouldn’t you like to attract your soul partner who is also looking for you?

It seems tempting to believe that more volume will give more opportunity. And it is true, more volume does attract . . . but here is the important thing to remember: it attracts more of the same thing.

Here are the 3 steps to practice for finding your true soul partner.

       1. EVOKE – From the core of your innermost self, call your partner to you – soul to soul.

       2. VISUALIZE – In your mind’s eye, see him coming. Know he is on his way.

       3. RECOGNIZE – Know that you will meet each other easily and effortlessly, and that you will immediately recognize each other. And when he does show up, don’t second-guess it. Recognize him!

This is about love, right? Not about finding company. We can all find someone to spend time with, but not necessarily someone whom we really want to share our lives with. Yes, we might be able to find someone that can blend into our lives – but real love – real love – transcends all of this. It is spiritual recognition.

Spiritual intention is very focused. It is conscious. It is an evocation. It is a literal calling on spirit to match us up, soul to soul.

By calling in your soul partner, he will show up into your life like a magic trick. You will find yourself saying, “I’m not sure how it happened; he just showed up at the door . . .

. . . and, it was love at first sight.”

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION www.DianaLang.com Follow Diana Lang on Twitter:

Are You Listening? Relationship Advice From a Spiritual Perspective

~reprinted from the Huffington Post – Diana Lang

listening

“Well, I think part of my gift, if I have one, is that I love listening.”
— Eric Clapton

We all know how good it feels to be really, really listened to. It is healing when we feel heard. But as you have likely discovered, good listeners are hard to find.

Rather than wishing that you knew more people — or anyone, for that matter — that listens well, I would recommend that you simply learn to be a good listener yourself.

Listening is an art. It is something we can cultivate over time. Some people have this more naturally than others, but anyone can learn the art of listening.

The trick to listening is to hear without judgment.

• It is not about just being quiet until the other person is done speaking.
• It is not about formulating your counter-thought while they are talking.
• It is not about sifting through all of your opinions until something they say matches up with
something you already think.
• It’s not about fixing the problem you perceive they are saying.
• It is not about arguing, or being louder, to make your point.
• It is not about being right.

It’s about being present — from your heart — and listening with your heart, to what that person is really trying to say. It’s about developing an open mind. It is a conscious practice of not jumping to preconceived conclusions or fixed opinions. It is simply listening with an open heart.

Just like a musician can have a good ear for music, or a gardener has a green thumb, or a mom has a mother’s intuition, it is the love of the subject that lets us listen past the words; it is love that keeps us interested, attentive, and caring.

Whether we are talking about the musician or the gardener, the mother or the listener, the common denominator here is love. The musician, out of love of the harmony will develop a more discerning ear. The gardener feels the heartbeat of the earth through her hands. A mother senses every nuance of her newborn’s breath, and a good listener really cares about the person that is speaking.

This cannot be faked.

Everyone feels everything. Like dogs in a park, we all know who’s boss — and who’s not. By a sniff! And, as you’ve seen, it’s not about which is the biggest (or the smallest). It can be the Chihuahua who rules the pack! We all feel energy.

When we are listening from our heart, or what I would call conscious listening, the other person feels heard — because they are being heard. We are not judging as we are listening, we are simply bearing witness to someone’s heart. This is a gift that we can give. And the one who is being heard can feel it — and knows it.

Listening is an act of love. When we love someone, we listen more deeply. We are hearing the tone of their voice, the rhythm of the cadence of their speech, the rise and fall of their inflection. We are hearing the real meaning of what they are saying, beyond the words they are using! This active listening is a deeper kind of intimacy.

Listening is inherently deeply respectful.

It says, I want to know you. You matter to me. I care what you are saying.
It says, I love you, so I hear you.

When we fall in love we are all excellent listeners. We really care. We really do want to know every little thing about them. We are paying 100 percent attention. We are not distracted; we are not thinking about something else; we are not thinking about ourselves. We are thinking about them and only them, and vice versa!

When we really listen, listening without judgment or agenda, we will experience an entirely different sort of conversation. It becomes a divine discourse. It is a true exchange of love. It is real connection. Our conversation becomes a collaboration and a grand exchange of intertwining concepts and ideas that we are sharing. We can lift each other up to higher and higher levels of mutual understanding.

Rather than trading opinions at each other, we become two people sharing ourselves with each other. Our conversation becomes a discussion versus a debate. It becomes a joyous interchange rather than a mental jousting match. When two people consciously converse, new ideas can develop. Both people will be expanded and come to new understandings and points of view.

This is conscious conversation.

What if we could begin to listen like this to everyone — our hairstylist, the plumber, our mother, our kids, our partner — with this much presence? Imagine a world where we really hear each other, rather than judge each other. What kind of world could we make?

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of
OPENING TO MEDITATION — www.DianaLang.com

Follow Diana Lang on Twitter:

Should I Lower My Standards? Relationship advice from a spiritual perspective

STANDARD Norwegian_Royal_Standard_flag(reprinted from The Huffington Post.)

When it comes to relationships, we all have our standards. Standards are those ethical principles that we navigate our lives by. They are a kind of personal code by which we make choices, decisions and intentions. Fundamentally, they are the ideals that we hold dearest to our hearts. They are essential personal covenants that shape how we live our lives, determine what’s important to us, and effectively direct our motivation and direction. Our standards are foundational to every single thing we do.

The thing about standards, though, is everyone’s are different! By holding ourselves to our standards, we cannot help but hold others to them too. But because everyone has slightly — or radically — different ones, we can get in trouble when we try to impose our standards onto someone else.

In a relationship, congruous standards are important. It is said that the single most important component that allows a relationship to last is similar philosophy. Our standards are based on our philosophies. They are corresponding and interconnected. Everything else can be different between a couple: where we come from, how much money we have, the color of our skin, our ages, our interests, but if our standards are in conflict, then there will eventually be philosophical differences that can become an immense obstacle to sustaining the relationship.

This is why couples often find natural compatibility with a partner that comes from a similar religious faith, or from the same country, or even neighborhood! Where we come from influences and shape our standards. We are often naturally attracted to someone who inherently harmonizes with these standards…

Or, we can be attracted to the opposite.

If we are with someone who has different standards, and especially lower ones than ours, it can be very destructive. It can bring out the worst in us, instead of the best of us. If the discrepancy is great, it can turn out to be a match not made in heaven. This can do a lot of damage to our confidence and erode those things we hold paramount. If we start to doubt our own standards and lower them, each individual, and the relationship itself, will slowly be degraded. We can begin to doubt our core beliefs and values, and gradually, eventually, like the way water must flow downhill, our standards will devolve.

You never want to step down to someone’s lower standards. A standard is an ideal, something that we reach for and aspire to. And if our standards are lessened because we are afraid to hold them up, then the relationship will suffer for lack of principle, and lack of depth. It will feel empty.

The good news is that we can evoke a higher standard from our partner. When we hold our standard up, they get to step up to it — or step out of it. Don’t let anyone stem your spirit or your higher knowing. By holding to your higher standard, everyone will be better for it. When we hold to our standards we are actually offering our partner an opportunity to grow. By raising the bar in a relationship we all grow. By lowering our standards, we are diminished.

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION — www.DianaLang.com Follow Diana Lang on Twitter:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diana-lang/should-you-lower-your-sta_b_9717278.html

 

Save Space, Sacred Space – How to stay together

-Republished from the Huffington Post

When we first fall in love safe space just happens. At the beginning of a relationship we automatically develop this intimacy. Safe space is naturally occurring. We let our guard completely down. We are open. There is access, access, access — all the time — 24/7. We tell each other everything. We want to know everything about them, and we want them to know every-little-thing about us. These first intense, undefended, open, honest and vulnerable conversations begin to form the bond that is critical to the eventual longevity of the relationship.

Over time, this initial bonding gets deeper. Layer after layer of trust is established. Your relationship becomes solid like a mountain. It becomes sacred space.

Sacred space is that sacrosanct condition where two people come together in innocence and openness in the name of love. Anything can happen in this space. Anything can be said in this space. Anything can be forgiven in this space. And, everything can be held in this space. It is this safe, sacred space that allows our hearts to bond, unite, and become one. This is what marriage is in its ideal.

But, if it happens that this safe space is breached by broken trusts, harmful acts or words, or un-repaired misunderstandings and arguments, these relationship problems that normally could be worked out — are not worked out — and eventually, they can become unpredictable land mines that can blow us apart. An erosion of trust begins to occur by things like dishonesty, secrecy, duplicity, apathy, indifference, resentment, anger, etc.

Just as water can erode away a mountain over time, so too can the safe space of our relationship be worn away. If it gets bad enough, this erosion can become like the Grand Canyon. It becomes insurmountable with no possible way to reengage or reconcile, because there are so many hurt feelings, and so many unexpressed wounds of the heart. The distance becomes too great to bridge. We get psychologically beaten up, until finally, all we can do is pick up the broken pieces of our lives and limp away.

What stops the flow of vulnerability and trust in relationship are all those unspoken things. And, there can be so many unspoken things when we stop sharing. We stop telling each other every-little-thing. We begin to guard our hearts, and keep things from each other. We have little secrets about big things . . . and little things.

And sometimes, it’s the little things that can do the most damage. The old axiom of marriages breaking up because someone doesn’t put the toothpaste cap back on is a sad parable on Love Gone Wrong. We are arguing about nothing. But it’s really not nothing – it’s symbolic. The toothpaste cap becomes emblematic of all those little hurts and oversights that actually represent the growing distance and the widening chasm that is occurring in the relationship. It’s a warning.

This is dangerous territory. As the distance increases and our feelings get more and more hurt and sensitized, this dynamic can begin to ricochet, increasing in velocity, until it feels like we have created a chasm too wide to span.

So, now what do we do?

Somebody has to throw a line across the chasm or it will surely further fall apart. It doesn’t matter who is right or who is wrong. The one who is able to recognize the problem must be the first responder. Don’t wait until they do – they may never! Whoever is able to throw the first rope across the chasm — should. We have to put down our pride, or our need to be right, or our fear of rejection, and reach out anyway. Someone needs to start the conversation – and sooner than later. The more time that goes by disconnected, the harder it will be to reconnect.

The good news is, you can rebuild your safe space together. You can heal the breach and open your hearts to each other again. You can win back that lost territory by love and forgiveness, understanding and compassion. All you need to do is start the conversation – in vulnerability.

Vulnerability is the key. Otherwise, the chasm opens up all over again. In this safe space of openness and willingness you can start to repair the damage, build a new bridge, and anchor your love in an even deeper trust and vulnerability.

A successful relationship is based on trust, vulnerability, and intimacy. Creating safe space – sacred space – is how.

Where there is safe space there is humor, there is understanding, and most importantly there is forgiveness. Once sacred space is established, and then, protected, honored and respected, the love that is forged within that safe space can last a lifetime.

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION 
Follow Diana Lang on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Diana Lang

MONEY and Love: How to Navigate the Nitty-Gritty of Finances in a Relationship

Love is greater than Money~ reposted from the Huffington Post

“Money can’t buy me love.” 
~The Beatles

How you handle your finances with your partner will tell you a lot about what kind of a relationship you have. Right away, you can know if it’s a generous relationship or a stingy one. Do you share your resources, pool them, or keep them separate? Do you share expenses mutually, or always keep a running tally in your head? These are important questions in a relationship. The bottom line, when it comes right down to it, is: how your partner is in relationship with their money is likely how they will be in relationship with you.

From a metaphysical perspective, everything is energy — even money — maybe, especially money! The way we spend it, save it, share it, or hide it, are all indicative of how we feel about abundance, or the lack thereof.

If you are paying attention, you can know right in the beginning of your romance what your partner’s relationship is with money. It is evident in everything they do. Unfortunately, we might not see these signs, because in our need to make the relationship work, we may overlook some of the most blatant signs.

Here’s the hard truth: if someone is stingy with the waiter, they will likely be stingy with you — maybe not right away, but eventually. As nice as things may appear, or as good as everything might look on paper, if you read between the lines, you can see, if you’ll look, what your partner’s financial philosophy is — and therefore where you may stand, too.

So, pay attention. Remember, it is not about how much money a person has, or spending money we don’t have, or being reckless with the money we do; it’s about the energy we have about it. It’s about our relationship with money. Is it selfish or unselfish – whatever amount we have.

And, of course, this works both ways. You need to examine your relationship with money too. Where do you stand on the subject of money? Is there never enough, or is there more than enough? I can tell you for sure that people will come to the same monetary conclusions over and over again, based on their fundamental financial philosophy, no matter how much they have, or don’t have.

Because it’s not about how much money you have. It’s about WHATEVER money there is. If it’s $5 or $500, $5,000 or $5,000,000 — it’s all the same. It’s our relationship with money that we’re talking about here. Are we miserly or charitable? A person can be as tight OR as generous over $5 as much as with $5,000. It is all relative.

And, if this person is going to be your relative, then it’s worth your time to observe their relationship with money. Are they calculating or magnanimous? Are they honest and ethical in their business dealings, or greedy and bending the rules? Does your partner save money, loan money, gamble money, or give money? If they give it, do they expect something in return?

Sigh… the return. This is the bottom line. In the grim, monetary, business-is-business world, the return on investment IS the bottom line. But in the world of relationship, it is the death knell. Love is not a business transaction. So beware the man (or woman) who thinks so.

Like in all things relationship, communication is the bridge for better financial relationship happiness. In a healthy relationship, there should not be any taboo subjects. Subjects that are off the table, tell you where the problems will be. If your partner won’t talk about money issues, there is a money issue. If they won’t talk about their mother, there are mother issues. Get it?

So, be aware. Money can be a difficult subject. People sometimes feel that they can keep it separate somehow, because it is about numbers. It seems black and white. But the very black-and-whiteness of this money perspective can be the literal measuring stick of how much we will let ourselves be connected to someone. Are we “all in” or not? Money is not a separate subject. It is a living demonstration and expression of how connected we can be!

Love is inherently generous. Love is sincerely unselfish. Love is wholly sharing, what little or much we may have. If money is where we draw the line, then that very line, describes the depth of what our relationship can be. And that, my friends, is the real bottom line.

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION -www.DianaLang.com

Romping Into Relationships and the Power of Play

dolphinswithmoon
~reprinted from The Huffington Post

 

I’m from California, and when I think of romance, in my mind, I see dolphins leaping in tandem across our beautiful Pacific Ocean. There is a playfulness in their togetherness, a synchronicity of movement, a deft understanding of each other, and perfect timing. It’s like watching a ballet!

A relationship is like that. It’s all about trust and timing. A sense of play in your relationship can lighten the heavier moments. By cultivating a sense of playfulness in a relationship you will discover the hidden treasures in your partner. We learn each other’s hard edges and soft spots. We become aware of each other’s boundaries and each other’s boundlessness. In this way, we learn to feel the subtleties and the nuances of each other. This forms a real bond of trust and intimacy that can lead to a more gentle and respectful consideration of each other.

My parents have been happily married for almost 60 years now. They also run their international music business together, (and still do!) They are literally together 24/7. Some of my clearest memories of them — then and now — are of my mother making funny faces until my father cries laughing. We all laugh — but especially him. They have that thing! They play.

A sense of play can make fun and light out of the heavier moments of life, and it is critical for recovery in arguments. Playing with each other, and the willingness to takes ourselves, and each other, lightly is part of the formula for a long-lasting love.

In a relationship, we can get way too serious. We can miss the little cues that would avoid an argument. And so many of those moments are non-verbal. They are conveyed by body language, tone of voice and subtle nuance. A shrug of the shoulder, a roll of the eyes, are examples of different information-packed secret codes of non-verbal communication. It’s another kind of emotional intelligence that adds depth to a relationship that becomes extremely important when “it’s time to go” when we’re at a party. A little head nod that says, I’m having a great time, or the opposite, let’s get out of here, can be completely and immediately understood because of a hundred intimate moments we have experienced together. We learn to read each other.

Playfulness is a form of vulnerability. Think of two puppies romping around, taking turns being rolled over. They are learning each other’s strengths and weaknesses. If the play gets too rough, the pup will make a yip, and all the action stops for a moment. They learn a boundary. That’s too much. Don’t bite so hard. They are learning. They are not meaning to hurt each other. They are playing on the edge of vulnerability.

Playing is a practice of trust like the game of falling backwards into your partner’s arms. You have to trust that they will catch you. This is how we learn each other. And this is the power of play. We are willing to share our weaknesses with each other for the purposes of not hurting each other, but to better support each other.

A little bit of ribbing will stretch us out of our comfort zones, and let us explore in a loving, lighthearted way, those touchy subjects of our lives. This playfulness creates a deep bonding.

Playing with your partner says, I love you, I trust you. It says, I can show you my deepest secrets and I know you won’t hurt me. And I won’t hurt you either.

If your partner can make you laugh, and hopefully, especially at yourself, an ever-deepening intimacy is fostered. Little private jokes, like a nudge under the table, a wink across the room, all produce a complex, secret love language that only the two of you know.

Finally, it’s all about feeling safe. Teasing, kidding and all the forms of play need to be founded in kindness. This is important, because we all know how piercing a pointed-but-accurate critical comment can be. They can wound us deeply. When we lovingly play with each other we are learning each other’s parameters of safety. In this established safe space we can be kidded, teased and challenged. Playfulness is a way to discover the edges of our safety zones while getting to know each other more and more. Furthermore, play can allow for uncomfortable subjects to be brought up like who we are voting for, or whose family to spend Thanksgiving with. When there is playfulness between you, there can be an easy forgiveness. There is a natural safety net of love and understanding being constantly reinforced by all of this interplay.

Remember, where there is humor, there is perspective. Where there is perspective, there is understanding. And where there is understanding, there can be forgiveness.

So play away! Learn each other’s foibles, eccentricities, and idiosyncrasies. Discover each other’s worlds. Let yourself play — like dolphins! There is a synchronicity to play, a timing, a rhythm and dance that is completely considerate and respectful of your partner, because we are always looking out for what is best for them!

When things feel very heavy or blocked, be like my mom and make a funny face. The whole mood of a situation can change by an unexpected English accent, or a mysterious glint in your eye. Giggling in bed, making a face across a room at an important event — that only he knows what it means — are all ways of building intimacy together. Tickling, kidding, poking and prodding all become a part of a growing arsenal of loving play at your disposal. All of which can potentially lead to belly laughs – or at least a snicker or two – and a deeper and growing trust between you.

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of
OPENING TO MEDITATION -www.DianaLang.com

Full Moon Meditation at the Equinox

And I did get a couple of texts!

By Light I am guided.  By Love I am impulsed.

“HOW WILL I KNOW (if he really loves me?)”

(as sung by Whitney Houston)

–reprinted from The Huffington Post

A couple in love in the sunset on the beach

How do you know if he is into you?

And how into you is he?

Should you ask him straight up? Should you guess? Get a tarot card reading?

I would answer: If you don’t know where you stand in your relationship, then that is probably not a good sign.

When a man is into you – if you are “the one” – you will know.

This means that if you are not sure what your status is with him, then likely it is not too solid. And if you’ve been wondering after weeks and weeks, and maybe, months and months . . . even more so!

Basically what I am saying is, if you are wondering where you stand with your man, then your very unsureness is part of your answer.

A man will turn the world upside down to be with you if you are the one for him. He will cross the country, miss the big game, and throw his coat over a puddle for you to walk over.

You will see it in his eyes, you will hear it in his tone of voice, you will feel it in the touch of his hand, but most importantly, you will experience it by his actions. His feelings for you will be whispered into the background of every moment. If that’s not happening, retain that as data. As hard as that may be to contemplate, you need to consider it.

For a relationship to be strong, it needs to be authentic: not manufactured by a fantasy, or a wish, or an artificial timeline, but based on a truly genuine and real connection between the two of you.

Remember these 3 things as you navigate a new relationship.

  1. BE YOURSELF. Don’t compromise this. Be you. Who he is falling in love with is And if you are being anything less than you, it will come out sooner or later. So, be yourself right from the start. Let him see your true self: your vulnerability and your strength, your power and your fragility. The real you is beautiful and just right for the right person.
  1. BE PATIENT. He needs to realize for himself what he feels. Let him recognize his feelings for you in his own timing and his own way. Don’t try to cajole love. Don’t manipulate him, trick him or rush him into loving you. Plus, you wouldn’t be happy with the results anyway, even if they seem to succeed.
  1. Finally, it’s like that old saying says: IF IT’S MEANT TO BE, IT WILL BE, and I would add, and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it. This is a spiritual truth, so you can trust it. Really, you don’t want to be with someone who is not right for you. He might look perfect on paper but not be right for you in real life. Trust this life principle, and let real love show up in your life.

If you remember these three points you won’t wonder what the state of your relationship is – it will become apparent. You will see it, feel it, and know it. When your man loves you, he will profess it, he will tell his friends and family, he will shout it out to high heaven! Everyone will know that you are the one – including, and especially YOU.

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION –www.DianaLang.com

Follow Diana Lang on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Diana Lang

Let Love In

(reposted from The Huffington Post)

Black-and-white-effect-romantic-couple-hugs-300x250To find true love, we must be true to love.  ~Diana Lang

Opening your heart can be scary. Especially if you have been hurt in love . . . and who has not been hurt in love.

If I love you, will you love me back? This is our question. This is our fear. But this is also our deepest wish!

The fear of heartbreak is primal. The more we lean over the edge of the cliff of love, the more precipitous it can feel. There we are, with our heart waaay out there, on the very edge of our sleeves, hanging on by the tips of our toes to the edge of the crumbling cliff side, straining over the chasm in the hopes of true love. Love can be truly terrifying!

And so we protect ourselves, making sure we won’t get hurt again. Our hearts can harden. We can make ourselves invulnerable. Our hearts feel like an open wound that never really healed right. Over time, this wound can cover over and become a veritable scar, and impenetrable to new love. The gnarled scar tissue of old love wounds can become pretty grizzly over the years, to the point that when real love is offered we might not let ourselves be open enough to receive it. “I’m not going to get hurt again!” we declare.

If we do get brave enough to let ourselves open our hearts again, we can enter into a relationship literally halfheartedly, with our hearts hidden and protected under lock and key. The problem is, when we don’t bring our whole hearts to it, that love is likely doomed to fail.

Worse, the deeper we go in our relationship, the more there is to lose, and it becomes more and more difficult to take the risk of letting our hearts be vulnerable. We become uneasy and nervous, jumpy and touchy, loosing our perspective, taking everything personally, and quick to bolt.

But remember, a good relationship is built on give and take. And as much as we might be taking a risk in love – so is our partner.

From a spiritual perspective, it is always right to love. But there is a hard but beautiful truth inherent to this: Love is vulnerable. And you can’t take that part out of it. For the state of vulnerability requires actually feeling vulnerable.

The more vulnerable we are with each other, the deeper our love can grow. But conversely, the greater the depth of our pain if it doesn’t work.

To trust each other means to give over to each other, even in the face of our fear, that we could be left, walked out on, or be used.

Think of relationship like breathing. You breathe in, you breathe out. In this model, you receive love; you give love. It has to go both ways.

It’s like inhaling and exhaling. We need to trust the natural process of life. Just giving love can deplete us. The same as only taking love will back us up. Just like the breath, we must let it in and let it out. It must be both. Spiritual principle and nature say so.

There is so much risk in taking the chance to love again. We might think it’s easier to just not risk it at all. We worry, what if we’re wrong?

But I would counter, what if we’re right?

You can’t find a real love if you are not willing to really love.

So, take the risk to let love in. Let it in. Let it out. Let it flow. You might get some bumps and bruises along the way, and a little callous over here and a scar over there, but love is inherently brave. Take a risk. Practice vulnerability. Open your heart and see how love finds you!

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION – www.DianaLang.com

 Follow Diana Lang on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Diana Lang

GOOD ENOUGH

innocense

Reprinted from The Huffington Post
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diana-lang/good-enough_b_9396406.html

Life can sometimes beat us up a bit, turn us over, and spin us around on the subject of our worthiness. Friends and family, and perfect strangers tell us what they think about us with a critical, just-trying-to-help-you eye. But all this does, and especially over time, is erode our self-esteem until we can barely lift our heads up from the weight of all the corrections and criticism from the outside of us – and of course, even worse – from the inside.

Our own inner dialogue is often fraught with egregiously negative self-judgment. “We shouldn’t have said that. We definitely shouldn’t have done that,” etcetera, etcetera, until we can become virtually paralyzed by the sting of our own intensely disapproving and manifestly unkind personal self-evaluation.

In response we might find ourselves disappearing into the social wallpaper of life, dissolving into the crowd, trying to blend in to keep safe.

Or, we do the opposite, and overcompensate, trying to prove our worth to everyone in sight!

The worse we feel about ourselves, the more we project this negative self-image into our actual life experience. This is bad for our relationships, bad for our sense of self, and can make it almost impossible to express our personal creative contribution to the world.

The spiritual solution is to realize that we are inherently good.

This doesn’t mean that we do not grow, or change, or challenge ourselves. It just means recognizing that the raw material of us, the essence of us, is good in the first place. As we become more and more aware of this intrinsic truth, then our natural impulses, our inclinations, our loves and passions begin to unobstructedly carve a beautiful and elegant living sculpture of that essence.

You can start right now to improve this inner state by saying these two affirmations.

“I am good.”

“I am enough.”

While these two statements may seem insignificant, they truly are much more potent than they seem.

And, you may find, they may not be so easy to say as they sound.

But, I can promise you this: by saying them, intoning them in your heart, and bodily memorizing them, you will change your life – utterly.

These essential phrases are like a sacred mantra, a veritable spiritual prescription for rectifying self-esteem. By consciously maintaining them you are choosing to embark on a journey of real self-compassion, where you can begin to rebuild a structurally sound and positively focused framework for living a more loving and fulfilled life.

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of
OPENING TO MEDITATION – www.DianaLang.com

Vulnerability

daisy rifle at kent state

In your vulnerability is your strength.

This is the secret of the feminine. As women, we may not realize the POWER of our position. We have been taught to fight like men do, but we cannot win well this way.

The masculine has a power in his own right, of course, and this is well-known and understood. This has been the primary energy in the world for many millennia. Up until now. The times are changing, and now is the time for the re-emergence of the feminine principles – of compassion, peace, and inclusion. These feminine principles are what the world is so desperately in need of.

 The feminine is not masculine. Our power is in our Yin, not our Yang. We can literally soothe the savage beast and we can help heal this helter-skelter world.

In my workshops on masculine/feminine spirituality, one of the teaching stories I tell comes out of the ancient lore of the Celts.

“It was said that when the men came home from battle, bloody and wounded, and full of fight and rage and death, the women would meet their men at the outskirts of the village with their breasts bared.”

In this one simple and singular act, the women broke the spell of their men’s war-ignited blood lust and savagery. The returning soldiers were met by all the women of the village, young and old. For each age, from child, to maiden, to mother, to grandmother, has a power of her own. They did it to make their homes and hearths safe, their tribe civilized, and to effectively keep their community healthy and successful.

This instinct to be vulnerable, to literally expose the most sensitive, heart-centered part of themselves, returned their men, in one elegant gesture, back to their families and their community.

This gift of vulnerability is highly underestimated, and generally misunderstood for weakness. And this is a great loss to us all. For in baring our hearts, our souls, our feelings, our tears, we help heal our world, our men, and even the masculine within us – for we are all of us, a mix of both.

When we kill the feminine aspect, the masculine aspect will rule. The masculine without the feminine is unbalanced. It can be too brutal and coarse. The feminine brings heart, and love, and tenderness to mankind’s most mortal wounds.

Do not be ashamed of this tenderness. It is your gift. Let yourself fully embrace and embody the power of your touch, your understanding, your compassion, tending this power like a holy flame. In this way, we can heal ourselves, and we can heal each other.

This means to lead with your heart and to stand in the strength of love, in the power of compassion, and the clarity of truth.

This is not weakness. This is strength.

We can create a new world that heals our lives, our men, and ourselves.

So, when next you find yourself with the opportunity to open your heart ­– Let love rule – in truth, in simplicity, in authenticity, and in power. Simply love –heart on your sleeve – in the power of vulnerability, and watch what happens!

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION www.DianaLang.com
© DIANA LANG 2015

REPRINTED FROM THE HUFFINGTON POST
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diana-lang/unrequited-love-the-spiri_b_8449180.html

UNREQUITED LOVE – The Spiritual Formula for Moving On

Dear Diana,

How do I get over losing the love of my life?
I am heartbroken and don’t think I will ever be over it.
Please help.

Yours truly,
Unrequited Love

Dear Unrequited Love,

You had the right idea. You loved so deeply that you didn’t know how to stop loving.

Is that a bad thing? To never stop loving? For truly, how do we love someone deeply and completely, and then never think of that person again? When we love with our whole heart that means that we are emotionally, spiritually, and physically engaged. Is it really possible to just simply – on the turn of a calendar page – not care any longer?

When your heart truly unites with someone, there are so many strings that connect you: friends, family, experiences, holidays, vacations, dreams, memories, and all of the million moments that you have lived together.

Relationship is where we can experience the most personal growth, the most quickly. It’s like an accelerated course on self-awareness. And… one the greatest gifts that a relationship produces is the opportunity to learn ourselves better through the dynamism our interpersonal connection, and from the day-to-day, give and take of a sincere and deep exchange.

If it happens that our relationship doesn’t work out, there is still so much to have gained by having been in it. Every relationship we engage in in has a lesson for us. You discover new things about yourself: what you want, what you need, what you like, what you don’t like, and who we are! And from these experiences you learn, better and better, what is good for you, and what is not so good for you. From this profound intertwining of lives, we grow and change in a thousand ways.

In order to move on, you need to appreciate all that you have learned, and realize that it wasn’t just a waste of time, nor kick yourself for loving in the first place. You just get yourself up and brush yourself off, and realize that this unique intertwining of lives brought you many gifts.

So, my advice, dear Unrequited, is to first, rest and recover from the shock and the loss of it. Then, practice self-compassion as you, breath-by-breath, thought-by-thought, heal your heart. As you become stronger you will start to understand better and better what actually happened in all its complexity, and in its simplicity. And soon enough, you will be able to experience compassion for both of you.

So, here is the spiritual formula that will free your heart and let you move on in your life.

1. Every time you think of your past partner, say a little prayer in your heart and wish them well.
2. Then, wish yourself well.
3. Finally, imagine blowing a little dandelion as you set each other free.

From a spiritual standpoint, it is always right to love – and, to risk loving again. Even if it all falls apart, it is right to open our hearts again. Will we be hurt again in love? Probably. But the fact THAT we love, is always right.

The heart is more resilient than you know.


Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION www.DianaLang.com

©DIANA LANG 2015

FROM THE HUFFINGTON POST
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diana-lang/unrequited-love-the-spiri_b_8449180.html

EXCERPT from my meditation, “I CHOOSE LOVE.”

“And when you feel afraid – love one another.
If you’ve lost your way – love one another.
When you are all alone, –love one another.
If you are far from home – love one another.”
~Todd Rundgren

We need love right now like never before.
Like never before.

If there is something to do right now – it is to Love.
If you’re not sure what to do – Love.
If you’re feeling confused yourself – Love.

This is the action.
This is the instruction.
This is the activity.
This is the method.
This is the Way.

Love one another.

And when you can’t love yourself – love one another.
If there is something to do – love one another.
Reach out this way,
even in your own pain.
If you’re feeling conflicted yourself, or unsure of yourself – love one another.
Or lost yourself
Or hurt yourself
Still,
and especially,
love who is around you.
As you are able,
As you can.

Love. Love. Love

This is the answer to any question you can imagine.

Love each other through the walk of life.
Love the one that is standing in front of you.
Love the one you’re with.
Love me.
Love you.
Love each other.

And no matter what is happening in the world
Or in your Life

Still, the answer is to love.

And this Love becomes an action.

That you keep choosing

I choose love.
I choose love.
I choose love.

And I choose Love in a thousand ways.
By my breath, by my awareness, by my consciousness
As I am aware of a situation, or something I hear on the news, or from a friend, or in my own life.
I offer love.

as I am able to

through all my fear, through all my tension, through all my anxiety,
through all my confusion or unsureness,

I still offer love

In the way that I can,

This is yoga.

Can you breathe in the pose?

Can you breathe in the pose?

Or not breathe in the pose?

Can you keep yourself awake?
Can you stay aware?
No matter if you are upside down
or backbending?

Can you still breathe?
Can you stay present?
Can you stay with You?
Can you choose love?

Can you choose love?

I choose love.

 

To listen to this meditation in its entirety follow this link:
https://soundcloud.com/diana_lang/love-one-another

© Diana Lang 2015

Excerpt from TREASURE MEDITATION

fuscia purple

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a word I love to use in meditation which is “buoyant”
I use it often
It is one of my favorite words to describe the relationship between the soul and the self.

The idea of being buoyant to life
Means no matter how deeply you might get dunked
You will always float back up.

The word buoyant has the root word “buoy” in it
So, it can be the stormiest of seas
but that little buoy of *YOU* is going to pop back up.
The soul is like that.

So, when I say, “Be buoyant.”
I am reminding you HOW
To connect to the soul.
Because the soul is inherently buoyant.

 

To listen to this meditation in its entirety, and many more, go to:
https://soundcloud.com/diana_lang/treasure-meditation
© Diana Lang 2015

Excerpt from AWE AND WONDER MEDITATION

doublecloudsBe in wonder of the changes
Be in awe of your movement
And your non-movement
Be in wonder at the process of life
As life unfolds
Even within a day
Even within a breath
It is unfolding in all kinds of convolutions
From the essence of us
out.

And each convolution
good, bad, good, bad, good, bad, good, bad
Are reflections
Like our shadow
Or our light
Of where we are
Right now.

And when you can stand in awe of this process
vs. egoic evaluation
This process becomes sacred.

It is so tempting to measure where we are
To something, to someone else, to some artificial time frame
Like a date on a calendar
It is so tempting to measure and compare
Ourselves to ourselves
Or to each other
Or to someone else’s standard
When all that the soul is showing us
Is our next step
In perfect timing to the life.

 

To listen to this meditation in its entirety, and many more, go to:
https://soundcloud.com/diana_lang
© Diana Lang 2015

Excerpt from THE SOUND OF THE SOUL

Photo art by Anna Marinenko

How do you recognize the sound of the soul?
versus the ego’s voice
They are both in our head
So it can seem hard to tell the difference
But, it’s not hard to FEEL the difference
It’s not hard to feel the difference at all.

The soul’s impressions are loving
Always
And only
They are peaceful
Even in the middle of a calamity
The souls advice is calm
And kind
And unafraid

While the ego’s advice is full of fear
And that is why it’s on fire all the time
With LOTS of advice
Conflicting advice
It will argue five sides – in the same breath

The soul’s advice is SINGULAR
And it is simple
s i m p l e
This is another way you can recognize it
Because it is the next step
And the next step is simple
It’s the one right in front of you
It’s not ten steps down the road
It’s the very next one
And so it is simple

While the ego is busy strategizing
What if this happens? What if that happens?
It is projecting
Into the future
Fears…fears…fears…fears…fears

The soul just says, “yes.”
And that is all.

 

To listen to this meditation in its entirety, and many more, go to:
https://soundcloud.com/diana_lang/the-sound-of-the-soulmp3

© Diana Lang 2015

700 Books

getPart-2

 

The whole thing was so surreal. A guy was asking for books to donate on my local neighborhood internet site, Nextdoor.com. So, I took this as incentive to finally cull 700 books from my thousands of books in my library, which I had dearly been wanting to do.

I carried all 700 books up 3 flights of stairs, and according to my FitBit I did 122 flights of stairs today, and 84 yesterday!  So it really was quite a feat!

He just left my house now at 10:00 pm, on the eve of the Full Moon. An Englishman from Islington, where I used to live in London, who turns out is a rockstar in Europe! He came with his manager, who he had just picked up from LAX, totally travel-worn from London, and they swung by and loaded up their car with books to the ceiling.

We got to talking about music and such, and he knew who my dad was through Peter Gabriel, so I gave him a Stick cd, and also MY book.

Life is so funny sometimes.

Excerpt from LAVENDER MEDITATION

lavender

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And it really doesn’t matter if you can hear my words or not
The sound is the thing
The vibration is the thing
As you line yourself up, soul to self
You can translate and recognize that vibration better.

As you take those first initiative breaths
They synch you up
And line you up
With all that is
With the divine flow
With God Force
By a breath
By a breath.

By a breath you can return to this structured consciousness that you are building.

And this is such an important principle that isn’t talked about too often in meditation
Which is, the increasing concentration of consciousness that is  constructed by your meditation practice
That every time you meditate you are mining a depth
Like a well
That you can re-source yourself to
More and more easily
As it gets deeper and deeper.

This is a gift.

And so when you take a breath, you meditators
When you take a breath,
Consciously
There is something there
There is something there to meet you
It is like your oldest friend
The soul.
And so, the soul and self
via the breath
become one.
Because the breath is the bridge between the soul and the self.

And as you use that exhalation
Like an elevator
To take you in
To take you IN

You begin to build this
Working cooperation
A relationship
With the soul
That is activated
As opposed to passive.

The soul is always there to meet you
It never stops sending
love…love….love…love…love…love…love…love
This is the pulse of the soul.

 

To listen to this meditation in its entirety, and many more, go to:
https://soundcloud.com/diana_lang/lavender-meditation

© Diana Lang 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

white bird

I just watched a five-minute standing ovation for the Pope – live – while it was happening.  People were crying and laughing, and I could feel the love, the hope, the gratitude pouring on to Sweet Pope Francis, who kept his head down, gently smiling and was slightly uncomfortable. It’s like a renaissance. The world needs LOVE so deeply. And we recognize it when it’s there. In all its forms. I was so touched watching his gentle countenance. He’s the real thing, you guys. Like all the holy ones, there is a ‘spirit of Grace,’ and it is recognizable.

As he prayed for us he asked us to pray for him.

In my small way, I so understand.

whitebird

BIG LOVE

practice big love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXCERPT from tonight’s meditation, BIG LOVE.

Where we meet the frequency of love,
all the attachment of negativity and worry and fear
just fall away.

And then,  you become part of that Big Love.
And you remember
that you are already a part of that Big Love.

In our consternation, and tightness, and fear
we can have the experience of apparent separation.

But there is no separation
except the one we make ourselves.

So every time you meditate
ONE of the things that is happening
is a return to Soul*Self,
a return to essence,
and you remember who you are
at the level of soul IN the life.

So everything that is separative
(that the ego creates)

like shame

(which is a big umbrella subject
creating the appearance of division and separation.)

When in truth there is no separation.
For we are a One Life,
and we are all connected,
ALL the time.

So when we meditate we remember
this truth.
And the ego structures of fear that get built around us
unconsciously and consciously
just simply dissolve.

And we return to love.

Which is our natural state.

The greatest detriment to self realization
is UNself realization.
And what unself realization is,
is the ego’s creation.

And the greatest expression of that unself-realization,
conscious or unconscious is

s

h

a

m

e.

And so, I forgive myself for everything.

These are not just some pretty words.

This is an energetic, spiritual ACTION.

I forgive everybody for everything.
I forgive myself for everything.

And it is real.
And then realized.
And then manifest.

But this is a practice, right?
Because this is the Big Work,
to return to the state of love
that has no shame
that creates no separation
nor the experience or appearance of division.

It is a practice,
a constant practice
of self awareness
and self-honesty
to dissolve
those prison bars
of unworthiness
that don’t allow our remembering of
Our True Self.

which is Love.

 

To LISTEN to this meditation in its entirety go to:
https://soundcloud.com/diana_lang/big-love-meditation

© Diana Lang 2015

 

The 3 Spiritual Laws for Finding True Love (Or Fairy Tales Can Come True)

424

A new blog post by Diana Lang for PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT CAFÉ

by Diana Lang

From a spiritual perspective, it’s pretty simple to attract your soulmate. But from the everyday perspective, you might not know it by the way it looks out there these days. Between depressing digital dating or worrying that all the good one’s are taken, it’s hard to believe that our guy could be out there somewhere.

But he is. And he is looking for you too!

From a spiritual point of view, none of our fears make any difference at all, of course. For the manifestation of true love is all about the Spiritual Laws of Intention, Magnetics and Receptivity.

The first spiritual law is ASK. Ask and it is given. Not so easy to do, of course, because we must ask purely, and without doubt. If we doubt our worthiness or our lovability, our manifestation of our dreams are diluted by exact proportion!

And, if we try too hard, we can repel our answer. Think of a person that feels desperate for a job that posts 500 resumes. That energy is palpable by text, by email, and by interview. People sense it. The more desperately we feel we need something, the more likely we are to repel it – in exact proportion. It is like an alchemical formula. And it is always correct.

Conversely, the more sure you are of your goal, the more you know it, feel it, and expect it, the more attractive you are to it. The woman who knows her man is coming – who is just waiting for him to show up, and knows that the timing will be perfect – meets her man at the gas station pump, bumps into him at the market, or he sits right down next to her on the bus! She can’t get it wrong, and she cannot miss him. And neither can he.

But how do you make yourself attractive to what you really, really want? The very word attractive holds the answer. It’s not about being more beautiful, or charming, or sexy, or clever. Those qualities are simply natural extensions of your intention and who you are. It’s about learning to become more magnetically attractive to what you want.

By setting your intention clearly, from your innermost self, you may not attract a hundred dates, but you will attract your one true love. And the good news is, one is all you need.

The 3 Spiritual Laws for Finding True Love

  1. ASK – Be very clear in your intention. Write it down. Feel it in your body. Expect it.
  1. PREPARE – Love yourself. Make your home, your life, and yourself attractive to YOU.
  1. RECEIVE – Be receptive. Stay open. Don’t get discouraged or impatient. Impatience is the greatest detriment to positive manifestation.

When your love comes you will know. It won’t be confusing or maybe. It will be sure as lightning. You will feel it in your bones. You will know it in your heart.

And you will recognize each other.

For, of course, it will be mutual.

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION www.DianaLang.com

The 3 Spiritual Rules for a Lasting and Loving Relationship – or How to Keep Falling in Love

divine marriage

A new blog post for PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT CAFÉ

by Diana Lang

When I marry a couple, I say a lot of things designed specifically for the unique couple that I am marrying, but the one thing I always say in every celebration is this:

“A happy marriage is a long falling in love. It is a continuing courtship. It is a process of falling in love again and again.”

They may not know it, but in these few simple statements, I am giving the secret to a long and happy relationship.

Whether we are newly dating, or in the first stages of a burgeoning relationship, or in a long and committed one, these sentences are the alchemical formula for a real and lasting love.

The newly dating couple has the advantage, of course.  Because they are new.  Everyone is trying their best, and being their best, and wanting the best for each other.

And that’s the key. We forget about ourselves. For true love is selfless. We are truly for each other. We do not see each others faults so sharply; we do not have a long list of grievances because we are looking at each other with new eyes. And as we do, we fall more deeply in love.

But how do you re-fall in love when maybe the luster has dulled? What happens to our relationship when we start to take each other for granted? Or forget why we fell in love in the first place?

So, here are the 3 important rules to a happy relationship.

  1. Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate. Act like you just met. See your partner with new eyes. Let them surprise you! And then they will!
  1. Communicate, communicate, communicate. If you are confused or unsure, talk about it. Say, “I am confused. I don’t understand.” Then see what your partner says. Tell the truth. Don’t be strategic. Be innocent. True love is innocent. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been hurt in the past. Don’t bring the past into your current relationship. Resist the temptation to hold resentments of past events. Which leads me to rule three …
  1. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Love holds no grievances. Learn to make up quickly. Try to go to sleep without hurt feelings. If there are negative feelings from the past, talk about them until you see your way through.

With these three rules you can build a lasting and deeply loving relationship. For love really is always the answer.

— Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher, counselor, and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION www.DianaLang.com

 

My first vlog post!

My first vlog.

New Moon Thoughts Experiment #1- with DIANA LANG August 14, 2015

Making a Wish

images

AND FINALLY, tonight at 9:30, I had quite forgotten, as I slid into the movements of my Tai Chi practice up on the highest, northernmost facing hill about ten minutes from my house, that tonight was the big Perseids meteoric shower. . . and as I was doing “White-Crane-Spreads-Its-Wings,” on the exhalation. . . and just happened to look up, there they were . . . 3 falling stars in a row, zing, bam, boom! Boy, did I make a wish!

Merry-Go-Round – a little story

Demerry-go-roundlightedly giggling, she whirled and twirled around and around the merry-go-round. She loved the up-and-down of it and the round-and-round of it. She laughed herself silly until she noticed the other little girl, four horses back and behind her, who was crying and holding on for dear life to the swirly, golden pole with her eyes tightly closed shut. She got off her gorgeous turquoise unicorn with the striped silver and gold horn, and wended her way back through the sea of horses to the little girl who sat on a zebra with a bright red saddle and long yellow tail, and said, “Pretty zebra you’re riding.”

The little girl on the zebra unsqueezed her eyes and peeked out of her blurred, tear-filled eyes.

“I just want to get off,” she cried.

The unicorn girl just stood quietly next to her, then softly touched her shoe as she looked up into her eyes and said, “Don’t worry, it will stop soon.” The little girl on the zebra sighed with relief but held on all the tighter.

Before she knew it, the carousel did stop. The grand calliope music stopped, too. The horses stopped going up and down, the merry-go-round stopped going round and round, and the little girl who rode the unicorn still stood next to her.

It wasn’t too soon for the little girl who rode the zebra. She jumped right down off the platform and into the dust and noise, and the parents and children who stood all around. The little unicorn girl jumped right off after her, loving the pink dust that poofed up under her feet when she landed.

They both stood there looking at each other for a moment, and the little zebra girl shyly said to the unicorn girl, “Want to go again?”

4.9.08

Last night I had the privilege of giving a talk at Krotona School of Theosophy up in Ojai.  It was a perfect Spring day and before I spoke I was taken on a tour of the grounds, the school, and the many various buildings by the director herself.  I felt honored to walk with her and hear some of the stories and history of this esteemed place.

As we walked through many different scenes, rooms and colors, I was taken by the order and the love that was everywhere around me. She explained the origins, the architecture and the esoteric meanings of what I was seeing.  She showed me where to get the best view of the mountains.  She showed me the rose gardens and many sculptures, paintings and photographs.  All of it, taken care of.  Every single thing was cared for.  I could feel it as I walked through.  There was nothing overlooked or not considered.  Everything had its place and its function and had been “thought about”.  The word that came to mind was “care”.  Conscious caring.

I like to keep my environment like that.  Well, except my desk.  But for the most part, my home, the space that surrounds me, I care for, like it belongs to me, like it is a part of me, because it is an extension of me.  I am in relationship with my environment and I want to take care of it.  I shepherd my space the same way I would for a pet or a garden.  I feel I have some responsibility to it.  The way I know that I’ve done this is by how it feels.  Does it agitate or calm?  Just like our appearance, or our voice, we can be agitating or calming. Our very bodies can bring peace to our world or disharmony.  Our homes, our environments can bring a sigh of relief or create ambient tension.  I am aware of these things like I am aware that a plant needs water.  It is something that matters to me because it’s under my care and is part of the physical extension of my life.  I can help it shine.

Krotona is like that but on a grand scale.  While I was at Krotona I was acutely aware of the consciousness of the many people that had contributed to this care of every single little thing.  I could recognize it because I do it.  You know that old saying, it takes one to know one.  This is a spiritual principal, just like like attracts like.  As I walked the grounds I found myself taking long, deep breaths.  Breathing in the rabbits that were hopping about and the golden apricot rays of light shining long beams through the dust and the pollen as it neared sunset.  I could feel the loving intelligence and the guiding hands that had brought this place to such a high vibration.

So when at one point on my tour I came across something different than that, it struck me so strongly that I took a picture of it, the only picture I took that day, because on some level this image of out-of-orderness gave me a sense of relief.  Which surprised me.  It’s very disharmony made me notice the masterful harmony all around me even more.  I was able to see the beauty that was all around me by its very contrast.  Here I was in one of the most beautiful, thought-fillled places in Southern California, and here also was this spectacle of something out-of-order. It reminded me of the humor in the world, the playfulness of consciousness rather that the relentless seriousness of it as it can sometimes become, and I laughed and laughed, took my photograph, didn’t even know why I took it at the time, just had to, and went on with our tour.  And now I find myself wanting to share this so very much.  Many of you know I haven’t written in this format for a while.  Isn’t it interesting what inspires, which for me it turns out is about beauty and grace and form, which is not so surprising at all I realize now as I finish writing this piece.

Beauty is complex and simple.  It is yin and yang, dark and light.  For a moment I was given a gift yesterday, a little window where all of this became so very apparent.  Harmony is divine, and everything, in its way is divine.  Upside-down, right-side up, on-its-side, beauty has an elegance and grace to it that is recognizable.  All we have to do is notice it.  It’s everywhere.  It’s right where we are sitting right now.  Look around you.

Being a musician and particularly a piano player the exact pinpointedness of this particular image gave me the relief and the backdrop I needed to recognize the beauty that I had been literally wading through.  It put my perception on its end, quite literally.  So practical and irreverent to place a grand piano – a Steinway grand piano – on its side in one of the most sacred places on the earth.  It was perfect.

bowing to divine order again
and sending you blessings and blessings,
~Diana

piano on its end

p.s  And just so you know, I know everyone at Krotona would want you to know that the piano was set like this for just a short while they reorganized the room it would soon grace again.