Should I Date More than One Person at a Time?

reprinted from the Huffington Post


dating many men

“Should I date more than one person at a time?” we wonder. “Wouldn’t it open up the field if I dated several people?” Even though there is some merit in this question, at least in the beginning of dating, soon you would discover that the answer is unequivocally, NO.

There is a wise old adage that says: The eagle that chases two rabbits catches none.

The statisticians of the world, of course, would say that this is an odds issue, and the more, the merrier! More chances equal more possibilities of success, right?

Wrong. That’s what the carnies of the world would tell you too, as you attempt for the umpteenth time to throw the ping-pong ball into the fishbowl. It is a scam of the ego.

Still, logic would seem to dictate: the more fishing lines I throw out there, the more fish I could catch.

But, what kind of fish would you catch?

The answer is: The same kind.

This is how energy works!

Like attracts like.

What if you want to find “the One?”

You are not going to catch a mermaid or merman with many lures. You have to evoke them out of this great, grand sea of the world. Yes, there may be many fish in the sea, but you are only looking for one! And, not just any one, but The One.

Just as in looking for a job, sending out a hundred resumes won’t land you a position if you believe there are no jobs out there. A thousand resumes won’t change the outcome of what you already believe. But if you believe there are many jobs out there, and you are a rare talent, you may be surprised to discover that the next time you go to your local café, that you find yourself sitting next to the CEO of the big, new health food store in town, the one that coincidentally happens to be looking for a marketing person . . . and there you are!

When we consciously visualize, and know our partner is coming – he will.
If you truly believe he is not, then you will also be right – he’s not coming.

Multiple-dating is like shooting buckshot. This desperate and random aim scatters, producing many apparent options. But all that this haphazard action does is just take up your time and delay the outcome.

Certainly, by putting ourselves out there, we will probably attract someone, but wouldn’t you rather attract that special someone? Wouldn’t you like to attract your soul partner who is also looking for you?

It seems tempting to believe that more volume will give more opportunity. And it is true, more volume does attract . . . but here is the important thing to remember: it attracts more of the same thing.

Here are the 3 steps to practice for finding your true soul partner.

       1. EVOKE – From the core of your innermost self, call your partner to you – soul to soul.

       2. VISUALIZE – In your mind’s eye, see him coming. Know he is on his way.

       3. RECOGNIZE – Know that you will meet each other easily and effortlessly, and that you will immediately recognize each other. And when he does show up, don’t second-guess it. Recognize him!

This is about love, right? Not about finding company. We can all find someone to spend time with, but not necessarily someone whom we really want to share our lives with. Yes, we might be able to find someone that can blend into our lives – but real love – real love – transcends all of this. It is spiritual recognition.

Spiritual intention is very focused. It is conscious. It is an evocation. It is a literal calling on spirit to match us up, soul to soul.

By calling in your soul partner, he will show up into your life like a magic trick. You will find yourself saying, “I’m not sure how it happened; he just showed up at the door . . .

. . . and, it was love at first sight.”

Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION Follow Diana Lang on Twitter:

4 thoughts on “Should I Date More than One Person at a Time?

  1. Hilary Lindsay

    I believe you. It has been my experience too.

    People are using dating sites to find mates. I imagine it’s like eating food you can’t smell.

    Maybe the underpinnings of multiple dating is the attention deficit manner of going about all things. Where there is a deficit of attention there may be all the good intention in the world but it won’t have a good environment for incubation.

    I think you would agree that this underpinning is based in fear. Attention everywhere, the constant scan of the horizon, is the primal instinct to protect. I don’t know the answer except to put down the screens and go out to the streets.

    1. Diana Lang Post author

      Oh, Hilary, I’m so glad you posted to this particular article. I’ve been writing for a women’s blog site. The blog site gives the topics and about twenty different writer respond. I’ve been using this forum as a writing workshop. Of all of the articles they have asked for, this one hurt the most. I connected into the zeitgeist of this subject . . . and it is saaaaaaaa-aaaaad. But it kind of extruded from me an interesting answer. And so I must bow.

      And yes, fear IS at the heart of all negative behavior.

      Love you, my so-smart friend.

      1. Hilary Lindsay

        No, I thought your reasoning sound. It was possibly something that made more sense in days gone by for some people. I was just speaking to that scenario.

        I have kids and I see the way they and their friends go about relationships. I also have single friends who resort to dating sites.So many people are alone. All of them are searching. So often the other party is like a messy manuscript one has to sift through for relevant information and so often the pages don’t come together as a cohesive story.

        It breaks my heart. But then you have an innocent and non-direct way of putting people’s hearts back together. And that is the person we hope to attract too. 🙂


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