A BEAUTIFUL INTERVIEW with my dear friends, and sweet co-creative sisters, Madeleine and Bonnie Culbertson on their beautiful new podcast, 101 WAYS TO SAVE THE WORLD.
THIS NEW MOON is potent and powerful and HELPFUL. Think, “the Art of Tidying,” except it’s about every subject of your life. Clean out the clutter in your closet, but also clean out the clutter in your emotional one too. This is a moon that is earthy and real and manifest. This is a moon to organize your priorities and your philosophies. Simple, straightforward and true. Be ready for the changes that are happening, and coming, by putting your inner affairs in order, om~
Exact in Los Angeles at 3:37 pm, Friday, August 30.
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FROM A SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE – by Diana Lang
When it comes to relationships, we all have our standards. Standards are those ethical principles that we navigate our lives by. They are a kind of personal code by which we make choices, decisions and intentions. Fundamentally, they are the ideals that we hold dearest to our hearts. They are essential personal covenants that shape how we live our lives, determine what’s important to us, and effectively direct our motivation and direction. Our standards are foundational to every single thing we do.
The thing about standards, though, is everyone’s are different! By holding ourselves to our standards, we cannot help but hold others to them too. But because everyone has slightly – or radically – different ones, we can get in trouble when we try to impose our standards onto someone else.
In a relationship, having congruous standards are important. It is said that the single most important component that allows a relationship to last is similar philosophy. Our standards are based on our philosophies. They are corresponding and interconnected. Everything else can be different between a couple: where we come from, how much money we have, the color of our skin, our ages, our interests, but if our standards are in conflict, then there will eventually be philosophical differences that can become an immense obstacle to sustaining the relationship.
This is why couples often find natural compatibility with a partner that comes from a similar religious faith, or from the same country, or even neighborhood! Where we come from influences and shape our standards. We are often naturally attracted to someone who inherently harmonizes with these standards . . .
. . . or, we can be attracted to the opposite.
If we are with someone who has different standards, and especially lower ones than ours, this can be very destructive. It can bring out the worst in us, instead of the best in us. If the discrepancy is great, it can turn out to be a match not made in heaven. This can do a lot of damage to our confidence and erode those things we hold paramount. If we start to doubt our own standards and lower them, each individual, and the relationship itself, will slowly be degraded. We can begin to doubt our core beliefs and values, and gradually, eventually, like the way water must flow downhill, our standards will devolve.
You never want to step down to someone’s lower standards. A standard is an ideal, something that we reach for and aspire to. And, if our standards are lessened because we are afraid to hold them up, then the relationship will suffer for lack of principle, and lack of depth. It will feel empty.
The good news is that we can evoke a higher standard from our partner. When we hold our standard up, they get to step up to it – or step out of it. Don’t let anyone stem your spirit or your principles. By holding to your higher standard, everyone will be better for it. When we hold to our standards we are actually offering our partner an opportunity to grow. By raising the bar in a relationship we all grow. By lowering our standards, we are diminished.
Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION www.DianaLang.com
First published for the Huffington Post.
Play video to watch >
Follow the link to watch.
How do you recognize the sound of the soul?
versus the ego’s voice
They are both in our head
So it can seem hard to tell the difference
But, it’s not hard to FEEL the difference
It’s not hard to feel the difference at all.
The soul’s impressions are loving
They are peaceful
Even in the middle of a calamity
The souls advice is calm
While the ego’s advice is full of fear
And that is why it’s on fire all the time
With LOTS of advice
It will argue five sides – in the same breath
The soul’s advice is SINGULAR
And it is simple
s i m p l e
This is another way you can recognize it
Because it is the next step
And the next step is simple
It’s the one right in front of you
It’s not ten steps down the road
It’s the very next one
And so it is simple
While the ego is busy strategizing
What if this happens? What if that happens?
It is projecting
Into the future
The soul just says, “yes.”
And that is all.
To listen to this meditation in its entirety, and many more, go to:
© Diana Lang 2015
And it really doesn’t matter if you can hear my words or not
The sound is the thing
The vibration is the thing
As you line yourself up, soul to self
You can translate and recognize that vibration better.
As you take those first initiative breaths
They synch you up
And line you up
With all that is
With the divine flow
With God Force
By a breath
By a breath.
By a breath you can return to this structured consciousness that you are building.
And this is such an important principle that isn’t talked about too often in meditation
Which is, the increasing concentration of consciousness that is constructed by your meditation practice
That every time you meditate you are mining a depth
Like a well
That you can re-source yourself to
More and more easily
As it gets deeper and deeper.
This is a gift.
And so when you take a breath, you meditators
When you take a breath,
There is something there
There is something there to meet you
It is like your oldest friend
And so, the soul and self
– via the breath –
Because the breath is the bridge between the soul and the self.
And as you use that exhalation
Like an elevator
To take you in
To take you IN
You begin to build this
With the soul
That is activated
As opposed to passive.
The soul is always there to meet you
It never stops sending
This is the pulse of the soul.
To listen to this meditation in its entirety, and many more, go to:
© Diana Lang 2015
A new blog post for PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT CAFÉ
by Diana Lang
When I marry a couple, I say a lot of things designed specifically for the unique couple that I am marrying, but the one thing I always say in every celebration is this:
“A happy marriage is a long falling in love. It is a continuing courtship. It is a process of falling in love again and again.”
They may not know it, but in these few simple statements, I am giving the secret to a long and happy relationship.
Whether we are newly dating, or in the first stages of a burgeoning relationship, or in a long and committed one, these sentences are the alchemical formula for a real and lasting love.
The newly dating couple has the advantage, of course. Because they are new. Everyone is trying their best, and being their best, and wanting the best for each other.
And that’s the key. We forget about ourselves. For true love is selfless. We are truly for each other. We do not see each others faults so sharply; we do not have a long list of grievances because we are looking at each other with new eyes. And as we do, we fall more deeply in love.
But how do you re-fall in love when maybe the luster has dulled? What happens to our relationship when we start to take each other for granted? Or forget why we fell in love in the first place?
So, here are the 3 important rules to a happy relationship.
- Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate. Act like you just met. See your partner with new eyes. Let them surprise you! And then they will!
- Communicate, communicate, communicate. If you are confused or unsure, talk about it. Say, “I am confused. I don’t understand.” Then see what your partner says. Tell the truth. Don’t be strategic. Be innocent. True love is innocent. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been hurt in the past. Don’t bring the past into your current relationship. Resist the temptation to hold resentments of past events. Which leads me to rule three …
- Forgive, forgive, forgive. Love holds no grievances. Learn to make up quickly. Try to go to sleep without hurt feelings. If there are negative feelings from the past, talk about them until you see your way through.
With these three rules you can build a lasting and deeply loving relationship. For love really is always the answer.
— Diana Lang is a spiritual teacher, counselor, and author of OPENING TO MEDITATION www.DianaLang.com
AND FINALLY, tonight at 9:30, I had quite forgotten, as I slid into the movements of my Tai Chi practice up on the highest, northernmost facing hill about ten minutes from my house, that tonight was the big Perseids meteoric shower. . . and as I was doing “White-Crane-Spreads-Its-W