Tag Archives: Big Love

THE VOW

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THE VOW

THE VOW I took at my first breath
was the one about survival
That one I couldn’t really resist because it was instinctive
but i have to admit that it feels like a vow

It needed to be a vow for me,
not just an instinct
because i needed to survive
my delicate mindedness was too refined for the coarseness of this experience
and i fought this vow with fists up and a sarcastic posture
so that i could take the easier way
and just let go
of this experience

But my soul knew me too well
and made me take a vow
so that i would survive
and make me stay here
despite myself

Okay, that makes sense.
the vow to survive so i wouldn’t give up before i was done

But then a secondary vow was made
this one was i made voluntarily
and that was love
I think I’ve made that vow every day of my life since i could think
not love in the sense that most think of it
not mushy love
dreamy love
romantic love
but love as the action
as the pursuit
as the living breathing experience of my life

to love as a discipline
to love through confusion
and discomfort
to love the unlovable
in me and in others
to love when my own heart is broken
to love through thick and thin
to love through hell and back
to love to heaven
to love with all the meanings of love
the ascension of love
the devolution of love
to keep loving
open eyed
standing there as a witness to love
to dissolve into love
to evolve into love
a pillar of carbonite crystal
that doesn’t move
that doesn’t hesitate
that only discerningly poignantly exactly and generally
keeps choosing love
in the face of not-love
that is the vow i take

And now, my new vow is take that big love of mine
and aim it at myself

So that i can complete that circle of love
and not just pulse and pulse and pulse
out
with no return
but to let it return
love to me
love for me
love as me.

© Diana Lang 2018

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BIG LOVE

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practice big love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXCERPT from tonight’s meditation, BIG LOVE.

Where we meet the frequency of love,
all the attachment of negativity and worry and fear
just fall away.

And then,  you become part of that Big Love.
And you remember
that you are already a part of that Big Love.

In our consternation, and tightness, and fear
we can have the experience of apparent separation.

But there is no separation
except the one we make ourselves.

So every time you meditate
ONE of the things that is happening
is a return to Soul*Self,
a return to essence,
and you remember who you are
at the level of soul IN the life.

So everything that is separative
(that the ego creates)

like shame

(which is a big umbrella subject
creating the appearance of division and separation.)

When in truth there is no separation.
For we are a One Life,
and we are all connected,
ALL the time.

So when we meditate we remember
this truth.
And the ego structures of fear that get built around us
unconsciously and consciously
just simply dissolve.

And we return to love.

Which is our natural state.

The greatest detriment to self realization
is UNself realization.
And what unself realization is,
is the ego’s creation.

And the greatest expression of that unself-realization,
conscious or unconscious is

s

h

a

m

e.

And so, I forgive myself for everything.

These are not just some pretty words.

This is an energetic, spiritual ACTION.

I forgive everybody for everything.
I forgive myself for everything.

And it is real.
And then realized.
And then manifest.

But this is a practice, right?
Because this is the Big Work,
to return to the state of love
that has no shame
that creates no separation
nor the experience or appearance of division.

It is a practice,
a constant practice
of self awareness
and self-honesty
to dissolve
those prison bars
of unworthiness
that don’t allow our remembering of
Our True Self.

which is Love.

 

To LISTEN to this meditation in its entirety go to:
https://soundcloud.com/diana_lang/big-love-meditation

© Diana Lang 2015

 

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